Is it really such a bad thing to be shy?

Shyness used to be seen negatively as an unpleasant emotional state related to loneliness or social anxiety, a perspective that is being questioned.

If you consider yourself shy, you’re not alone because about 40 to 60 percent of all adults consider themselves shy, according to a recent survey results report. 

 Regardless of one’s opinion regarding shyness or why they’re shy, here are five ways to be less shy.

Identify the “Thing” That Makes You Feel Shy

Look, chances are you don’t feel shy all the time, only in certain situations. There are social environments and situations where you feel relaxed and comfortable. 

So, to start to feel less shy, identify the “thing” or situation that makes you feel shy. 

Maybe it’s public speaking (which takes a toll on most people’s nerves, by the way), asking someone out, or simply being alone in a crowded or unfamiliar space. 

By identifying what triggers your shyness, you can form a game plan for dealing with such situations when they arise with action steps to push through your shyness. 

Be Informed

Staying informed on current events or certain topics helps boost your confidence in social situations to engage with people conversationally. 

For instance, if you tend to feel shy at parties, watch a trending video or do a little bit of research on a current event. By being well informed about an issue, you can join discussions or start your own.  

Set A Goal – Push Yourself 

You might admire and aspire to be like the person, that social butterfly, who seems to navigate social settings seamlessly and makes friends effortlessly. Who knows, perhaps they were as shy as you once. 

Set a goal to boost your confidence and hone that social skill. A good starting place to consider might be to share a story or piece of information with a group of friends the next time you’re together. Step into the spotlight; take center stage. Lead the conversation. Enjoy the experience a few times. 

Then, once you’re comfortable taking the lead with your friends from time to time, consider sharing valuable information or a report to a group of your colleagues. 

Finally, another goal to consider might be to go to the mall or another safe place and practice smiling and saying hi to five or six strangers. If a conversation ensues, enjoy it! 

Set small goals to push through your feelings of shyness.

Journal Your Successes

Pushing through your feelings of shyness is a big deal! Try to keep track of your successes. Celebrate your wins! Next time you’re feeling a little shy, read your journal to boost your confidence. 

Before long, you will be surprised by how far you’ve come and be inspired to keep pushing forward. Psychologists claim that reading how far you have progressed is a great way to stay motivated and keep trying. 

Be Kind To Yourself And Take It Slow

No one stops feeling shy overnight. Embrace the process and new person you’re becoming. And find ways to reward yourself. 

It’s important to take your time because rushing and “crashing and burning” could be so intimidating and painful that you stop trying. So take your time and be consistent in mastering your social abilities. 

Final Words

Shy people tend to spend a lot of time inside their heads, analyzing every little detail. It’s easy to read into situations and distort experiences, seeing things that weren’t even there. You don’t “think” yourself out of shyness. You “act” your way out of shyness. So, don’t beat yourself up; take as long as you need. With consistency and determination, you’ll eventually overcome any overwhelming feelings of shyness. Who knows…perhaps one day soon you’ll become the social butterfly that others aspire to be!

Photo by Joshua Eckstein on Unsplash

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