Anger can get a bad wrap. It’s healthy to vent your anger sometimes. It can even protect someone who’s trying to hurt other people or us.

Anger becomes an issue when it gets out of hand and starts controlling you. This can damage your health, relationships, career and cause run-ins with the police.

Recognizing that you might have an anger problem is the first step to recovery.

In this post, we’ll cover the five signs that indicate you might have anger issues. We’ll talk about the differences between healthy and unhealthy anger so you can take charge of your emotions instead of being controlled by your feelings.

Recognizing Anger 

We must become aware of when we are angry and what triggers it. These questions are a great place to start:

  • What situations/events/places/people trigger your anger?
  • How do you know when you’re angry?
  • What do you do when you’re angry – how do you react?
  • In what ways does your anger affect those around you?

Healthy Anger

Healthy anger is a catalyst to help or protect someone who is being hurt or treated unfairly. You immediately start thinking of ways to help. Healthy anger can be a powerful force to help someone survive or adapt. Healthy anger has a productive purpose.

Unhealthy Anger

Whereas healthy anger has a positive intention and productive purpose, unhealthy anger hurts instead of helps. But just because you get angry from time to time doesn’t mean you have anger issues; everyone gets angry. It’s not that you get angry. It’s how often do you get angry and what’s the intensity.

These are some ways that unhealthy anger can manifest: 

  • Rage
  • Coercion
  • Resentment
  • Manipulation
  • Judgment
  • Passive aggression
  • Verbal or physical abuse
  • Bullying

5 Warning Signs of An Anger Issue

Here are five common warning signs that indicate anger management issues.

  1. You’re A Magnet for Arguments.

Everyone has arguments. What we’re talking about here is getting into arguments a lot with everyone you encounter, perhaps even strangers—and not backing down because you feel like you have to win. Rarely does this have to do with what you’re arguing about. It has to do with being domineering and controlling.

If you seem like a magnet for arguments, and they get out of control quickly, it might be a sign that you have an anger issue.

2. You’re Passive Aggressive

Passive aggressiveness is tricky because you might be angry and not even realize it. Do you avoid conflict? Are you often sarcastic? Indifferent? If so, you might be passive-aggressive and have an issue with anger and not even realize it.

3. Blame & Resentment

People with anger issues tend to blame other people for their problems. And it’s a sign that they’re not dealing with their problems.

People with anger issues hang on to resentment. They’re bitter and can’t seem to forgive even the small things.

4. People Fear You

If you overreact when feeling angry, people will avoid you because they’re afraid or uncomfortable. People might keep their distance, cross their arms defensively when talking to you, or stay near the door. These are expressions of their fear and anxiety.

5. You’re Concerned about your Angry Behavior

If you’ve reached this stage, you likely realize you have an issue with anger. But the good news is that you realize you have a problem, which is the first step to working through your anger issues and gaining control over your emotions.

A Final Note

Do you have a problem with one or two of these warning signs? If so, you probably have an anger issue. Acknowledging it is the first step to recovery.

Consider getting help. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed about anger issues or getting help. Left unaddressed, anger can damage your life, hurt someone you love, or lead to a regrettable accident. Get the help you need to live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Photo by 傅甬 华 on Unsplash

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