What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way
July 30, 2020
When we were young, our parents had their ways of telling us that we won’t always get what we want. There were times that we resented them for it, but as we got older, we realized those denials actually had nuggets of wisdom in them.
It’s easy to conclude that life’s out to get us whenever we don’t get what we want.
We blame God, or the universe, whenever we don’t win competitions, fail exams, or don’t get the thing we spent all day and night praying for.
Blaming God can be an understandable reaction, but it’s disempowering.
There’s a better way to handle this situation besides blaming God or wallowing in self-pity because life isn’t fair. Read on, and we’ll tell you what it is.
Be Content with What You Have
Have you ever considered that when things aren’t going your way, maybe it’s just life teaching you a lesson about contentment?
Many people think the key to happiness is getting what they want, whether it’s a car, a promotion, expensive clothes, or a million dollars.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting those things, but it raises the question: are we really going to be happy once we get them?
The answer is no. Why? Because how can we be happy with those things if we’re not content with what we already have?
People who are content with what they have don’t stress themselves with what’s “lacking” in their lives.
They focus on what they have, not on what they don’t have.
They live each day with gratitude and don’t throw a fit when things don’t go their way. They simply move on with their lives, knowing that something better is on its way.
Take Some Time to Reflect on Things
Instead of pointing fingers, wouldn’t it be so much better if we reflected on why things didn’t work out?
Sure, that’s difficult to do when emotions are running high, but it’s an excellent way of handling drawbacks because it turns “failure” into a learning moment.
Taking time to reflect on the events that transpired allows you to set your emotions aside for a more objective perspective.
It also keeps you from lashing out at people or feeling jealous or envious.
How we choose to deal with failure and rejection reveals the type of person we are…it shows our character. Besides, we learn more from failure and rejection than from success.
By reverse-engineering “failure” and reflecting on things, you can identify problem areas two work on and change.
Using this process spares you from the guilt, anger, and misery that often comes from personalizing failure. It’s one thing to “fail” but another thing to consider yourself a failure. It creates a venue for healthy conversations with yourself and enables you to focus more on solutions than on being denied what you wanted to have or achieve.
Rise From the Fall
A “no” doesn’t always mean no. Getting rejected the first time doesn’t mean you’ll get the same answer after your second attempt.
If you still feel like going after what you want after spending time in reflection, grab the opportunity the next time it presents itself.
Work on any problem areas you identified to increase your chances of getting a “yes” on the second try. If the second attempt doesn’t work out for you, learn from it, then try again.
Know what you want, work hard to get it, but be kind to yourself when life decides not to give it to you.
Practice the habit of looking for lessons in each setback – like an athlete studying game film. Maybe life is trying to teach you something. You’ll repeat the situation until you learn and grow from it.
You deserve to be happy; life is yours for the taking! So, don’t give up! Persevere. Endure. Believe. And have faith that you are becoming the kind of person who can create the type of life that makes you happy.