One of your most important relationships is the one you have with yourself. Maybe even the most important. Of all the articles and books on healthy relationships, how many deals with improving your connection to yourself? Not many, that’s for sure. 

The kind of relationship you have with yourself influences everything in your life. It determines how you manage your relationships, colleagues, how much opportunity comes your way, and even how well you sleep at night.

So let’s talk about improving your self-connection so you can feel happier and be more fulfilled in life and work.

5 Ways to Improve Self-Connection

Improving your self-connection begins by taking your values, beliefs, feelings, standards, and goals seriously. In a way, these are commitments you make to yourself and the person you’re becoming. 

Are you perfect? No. You have weaknesses and strengths. Much of life is trial and error anyway. Realize that you made the best decisions you could make with the information you had at the time. Your choices served you, maybe not always in healthy or positive ways, but they served a purpose. So be your own best friend! Learn to give yourself the gifts of empathy and self-compassion.

To improve your self-connection and strengthen your self-worth, practice these five habits.

1. Practice Self-Acceptance: Acknowledge Your Likes and Dislikes

You have likes and dislikes. Accept them. Don’t change the way you live to please other people. Be you! Show up as you are, strengths and weaknesses, good and “bad.” 

We’re not saying to be lazy, selfish, and obnoxious, where you don’t make an effort to improve and become better. No! But don’t compromise who you are to please others or to fit in because that’s a miserable way to live. 

Embrace and celebrate your individuality! Know what you stand for! And know what you won’t tolerate! Once you have a clearer understanding and have made peace with yourself, you can do more of what makes you happy.

2. Be Kind to Yourself

Stop being your own worst enemy, okay? Please stop criticizing, finding fault, and shaming yourself. Show yourself some mercy and compassion; and throw in a little forgiveness while you’re at it, too.

Why not try this for a change: Find something you appreciate about yourself the next time you look in the mirror. It doesn’t have to be a physical trait. Maybe you’re persistent, determined, optimistic, charming, friendly, generous, kind, have a winning smile, etc. Just find something good about yourself to appreciate!

And consider taking thirty seconds to practice affirmations while you’re at it: “I am loving,” “I am a person of kindness, forgiveness, and love,” “I am worthy of happiness and success,” as a few examples. There are hundreds more. Google “affirmations.”

3. Listen to Yourself

Listen to your gut. If you have a hunch that something doesn’t seem quite right, pay attention! Even if it’s difficult, uncomfortable, or goes against what others are telling you, take heed.

You’re an amazing person with faith, beliefs, emotions, and conscience that are communicating to you all the time. When you listen to what your body, gut, and spirit tell you, you’ll feel inner peace and a sense of belonging.

After a while, you’ll better understand these subtle cues and promptings.  

4. Practice Good Habits

Creating healthy habits improves self-connection. Start from when you first wake up in the morning to when you go to bed.

Some of these healthy habits include:

  • Exercise regularly
  • Actively plan and enjoy healthy, well-balanced meals
  • Journaling
  • Write down positive affirmations
  • Practice mindful meditation
  • Smile more often

5.  Appreciate Progress 

Perfectionism poisons happiness and strangles ambition. Perfectionism causes depression, trapping you in a vicious cycle of self-blame and negativity, leading you to a dark, lonely place.

Avoid this toxic cycle of misery by acknowledging you’re not perfect! You will mess up; things won’t always go as planned! So what? Realize you didn’t fail; you got feedback. 

Maybe you set a goal of going to the gym five times a week. You knock it out of the park the first couple of weeks but then miss a few days.  

You have two options: Quit or adapt and keep going! Which is better? Keep going. Even scaled back progress is better than no progress.

You may apply this approach to any area of life, your diet, sleep, and work goals. Show yourself a little love by appreciating your effort and progress, even when it misses the mark; perhaps the target is a little unreasonable anyway.  


Each of these five habits boosts self-esteem and improves your connection with yourself. Make your life and relationship with yourself one of your top priorities! You can only give what you become. So, to give more, become more. And to become more, you must give time, effort, and focus to your relationship with yourself. 

Practicing these habits daily keeps you grounded and forms a strong, well-balanced connection to yourself. Only then can you start living in alignment with who you truly are and unlock your best life.

Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash

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